Killer Dreams Read online

  “Nah, you’re tired. I’ll make it.” He looked back over his shoulder. “How’s that little baby?”

  “One episode. I think it’s one of the meds she’s on. I’m going to try to substitute.”

  “Great.” He disappeared into the bathroom.

  And when he closed that door, he was probably leaning against the sink and giving himself a minute to fight the nausea the terror brought. She had taught him how to do that but lately he was closing her out of the process. Perfectly natural reaction and there was no reason for her to feel hurt. Michael was ten and growing up. She was lucky they were still as close as they were.

  “Mom.” Michael had stuck his head out of the bathroom, a grin lighting his thin face. “I lied. It doesn’t really make me feel weird. I just thought maybe it should.”

  He was gone again.

  Warmth and overpowering love poured through her as she headed for the kitchen.

  “Nice kid.” Jock was standing at the counter. “Guts too.”

  She nodded. “Oh, yes. Any other episodes last night?”

  “Not according to your instruments. No significant increase in heart rate until just a few minutes ago.” Jock turned away. “Tell Michael that I made him toast and orange juice. I’ve got to go make a phone call. It’s time I checked in with MacDuff.”

  She smiled. “The first time I heard you say that I thought MacDuff was your parole officer instead of a Scottish Laird.”

  “In a way he is.” His eyes were twinkling. “If I didn’t check in every now and then, he’d be on my tail to make sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. We have an agreement.”

  “Because you grew up in a village on his estate doesn’t mean that he has any right to tell you what to do.”

  “He thinks it does. He grew up being very responsible and possessive about everyone in our village. He considers us all his family.” He smiled. “And sometimes I still think so too. He’s also my friend and it’s hard to tell a friend to go to hell.” His smile faded as he looked at her. “You have a scratch on your cheek.”

  She kept her hand from flying to her face. She’d cleaned up at a gas station but there was no way to hide the scratch. She should have known Jock would notice. He noticed everything. “It’s nothing.”

  His eyes were narrowed on her face. “I expected you an hour ago. Where were you?”

  She didn’t answer directly. “You could have reached me if there had been a problem with Michael.”

  “Where were you?” he repeated. “The facility?”

  She wouldn’t lie to him. She nodded jerkily. “He didn’t come. He’s shown up by seven on Tuesdays for the last three weeks. I don’t know why he didn’t come today.” Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “Dammit, I was ready, Jock. I was going to do it.”

  “You’ll never be ready.”

  “You taught me. I’m ready.”

  “You may kill him, but it will still tear you apart.”

  “Killing didn’t tear you apart.”

  He made a face. “You should have seen me a few years ago. I was a basket case.”

  “All the more reason to kill Sanborne,” Sophie said. “He shouldn’t be allowed to live.”

  “I agree. But you shouldn’t be the one to do it.” He paused. “You have Michael. He needs you.”

  “I know that. And I’ve made arrangements with Michael’s father to take care of him if necessary. He loves him but he couldn’t take it during that first year. But Michael’s much better now.”

  “He needs you.”

  “Shut up, Jock. How can I…” She rubbed her aching temple and whispered, “It’s my fault. They’re still doing it. How can I let them go on?”

  “MacDuff knows a lot of important people. I could ask him to call someone with your government.”

  “You know I tried that. I called everyone I knew. They patted me on the head and told me that I was understandably hysterical. That Sanborne was a respected businessman and there was no proof he was the monster I said he was.” Her lips twisted. “By the time I got to the fifth bureaucratic bastard of a senator, I was hysterical. I couldn’t believe they wouldn’t believe me. Yes, I could. Payoffs. All the way up the line.” She wearily shook her head. “Your MacDuff would run into the same wall. No, it has to be this way.” Her lips tightened. “And you’re wrong, it wouldn’t tear me apart. I wouldn’t let Sanborne hurt me any more than he’s done already.”

  “Then let me kill him for you. That’s a much better solution.”

  Jock’s tone was casual, almost without expression, she thought. “Because it wouldn’t bother you? That’s a lie. It would bother you. You’re not that callous.”

  “Aren’t I? Do you know how many kills I’ve done?”

  “No, and you don’t know either. That’s why you’ve helped me.” She pressed the start on the coffeemaker and leaned against the counter. “One of the guards saw me. Maybe more than one guard. I’m not sure.”

  He stiffened. “That’s bad. Were you caught on the video camera?”

  She shook her head. “And I was wearing a coat and my hair was tucked under a cap. I’m sure no one saw me until I started to leave, and then only for a minute. It could still be okay.”

  He shook his head.

  “Yes, it will. I’ll make it work. No one’s going to call the police. Sanborne doesn’t want to call attention to anything out of the ordinary at the facility.”

  “But they’ll be on the alert now.”

  She couldn’t deny that. “I’ll be careful.”

  Jock shook his head. “I can’t allow it,” he said gently. “Maybe MacDuff has infected me with his sense of responsibility. I killed my personal demon years ago, but I pointed you in the right direction to get Sanborne. You might never have found him if I hadn’t led you to him.”

  “I’d have found him. It would have just taken me longer. Sanborne Pharmaceutical has facilities all over the world. I would have checked every one of them.”

  “And it had taken you eighteen months to get that far.”

  “I couldn’t believe it. Or maybe I couldn’t accept it. It was too ugly.”

  “Life can be ugly. People can be ugly.”

  But Jock wasn’t ugly, she thought as she gazed at him. He was perhaps the most beautiful human being she had ever seen. He was slender, in his early twenties with fair hair and features that were completely remarkable. There was nothing effeminate about him, he was totally masculine and yet that face was…beautiful. There was no other way to describe it.

  “Why are you looking at me?” Jock asked.

  “You wouldn’t want to know. It would offend that manly Scottish pride of yours.” She poured herself a cup of coffee. “I had a patient last night whose name was Elspeth. That’s Scottish too, isn’t it?”

  He nodded. “And did she do well?”

  “I think so. I hope so. She’s a sweet little girl.”

  “And you’re a good woman.” He paused. “Who’s trying to avoid an argument by changing the subject.”

  “I’m not arguing. This is my battle. I pulled you into it to help me, but I’m not going to let you run any risk or accept any guilt.”

  “Guilt? Lord, if you’d thought it through, you’d realize how silly that is. My soul must be as black as hell’s own cauldron by now.”

  She shook her head. “No, Jock.” She bit her lower lip. Damn, she didn’t want to say this. “I appreciate all you’ve done, but maybe it’s time you left me.”

  “That’s not going to happen. We’ll talk later. Good day, Sophie.” Jock was heading for the door. “I promised to pick up Michael from his soccer game this afternoon so you don’t have to bother if you’re tied up. Get to bed and try to sleep. You told me you had a one o’clock appointment.”

  “Jock.”

  He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “It’s too late to try to rid yourself of me. I can’t have you killed. I’m being entirely selfish. I have too few friends in this world. I seem to have lost the knack. It would hurt me to lose you.”

  The door slammed behind him.

  Dammit, she didn’t need this reaction from Jock. She should have kept her mouth shut about being seen. She knew how protective he could be. He’d kept arguing with her about letting him do the kill but when she’d refused he’d set about teaching her the safest and best way to do what had to be done. He’d stayed by her during these months to oversee and protect and to be there in case she changed her mind. She should have sent him away after he’d taught her what she needed to know. He’d said he was being selfish, but she was the one who’d been selfish. Having him here to keep an eye on Michael when she had to work late had been a blessing in itself. She’d felt terribly alone and Jock had been a comfort. But she had to force him to go now.

  “I’ve got five minutes.” Michael came tearing into the kitchen. He grabbed the orange juice and downed it. “No time for breakfast.” He grabbed his book bag and headed for the door. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek as he passed. “I won’t be home until six. Soccer.”

  “I know. Jock told me.” She gave him a hug. “I’ll see you at the game.”

  His face lit up. “You can make it?”

  “I’ll be late, but I’ll be there.”

  He smiled. “Great.” He started to leave and then stopped. “Quit worrying, Mom. I’m okay. We’ve got this licked. It only happened three times this week.”

  Three times when his heartbeat tripled and he woke screaming. Three times when he could have died if she hadn’t had a monitor on him. Yet he was trying to keep her from fretting. She forced a smile. “I know. You’re right. You’re on the uphill path. What can I say? I’m a worrywart. It goes with the territory.” She pushed him toward the door. “Take a protein bar since you don
’t have time to eat your breakfast.”

  He grabbed the bar and was gone.

  She hoped he’d remember to eat it. He was too thin. After the terrors he had trouble keeping food down, yet he insisted on being involved in soccer and track. It was probably good for him to be busy and she wanted desperately for him to have as normal a life as possible. But there was no question the sports had helped to melt the pounds off him.

  Her cell phone rang.

  She stiffened as she checked the ID. Dave Edmunds. Jesus, she didn’t need to deal with her ex-husband now. “Hello, Dave.”

  “I hoped I’d catch you before you went to work.” He paused. “Jean and I are catching a flight to Detroit Saturday night, so I’ll have to bring Michael back early. Is that okay?”

  “No. But I guess it has to be.” Her hand tightened on the phone. “Christ, it’s the first time you’ve had Michael for a weekend in six months. Do you think he’s not going to know why you won’t have him overnight? He’s not stupid.”

  “Of course not.” He paused. “It’s those damn wires, Sophie. I’m afraid of doing something wrong. He’s better off with you.”

  “Yes, he is. But I showed you how to connect the monitor. It’s simple. Just the index-finger pulse-ox and the backup chest band. Michael does it himself now. You just have to check the monitor to make sure it’s working properly. You’re his father and I won’t have him cheated. For God’s sake, he doesn’t have the plague. He’s wounded.”

  “I know that,” Dave said. “I’m working on it. It scares the hell out of me, Sophie.”

  “Then get over it. He needs you.” She hung up, blinking to suppress the stinging tears. She’d hoped Dave was making an adjustment at last but it didn’t look promising. The safe haven she’d set up for Michael with his father was disintegrating before her eyes. She’d have to think of something else, make other plans. Before that hideous day she’d thought their marriage could make it, although they were having a few problems. She’d been wrong. It hadn’t been strong enough to survive more than six months after she’d gotten out of the hospital.

  But, dammit, he had to be there for Michael if he needed him. He had to be.

  Keep calm. She couldn’t do anything right now. She’d find a way to protect Michael. Go to bed. Go to sleep. Then go back to the hospital where she could keep herself busy doing what she’d been trained to do.

  Help people, instead of planning to kill them.

  “I’m asking you to release me from my promise,” Jock Gavin said when MacDuff picked up the phone. “I may have to kill a man.” He waited, listening to the Laird cursing on the other end of the line. When he stopped, Jock said, “He’s a very bad man. He deserves to die.”

  “Not by your hand, dammit. That’s all over for you.”

  It could never be over, Jock thought. He knew that even if the Laird did not. But MacDuff wanted it so badly that he was willing it so. “Sophie is going to kill Sanborne, if I don’t. I can’t let her do it. She’s been hurt too much already. Even if she doesn’t get caught, it will scar her.”

  “She’ll probably back down. You said she didn’t have the killer instinct.”

  “But now she has the skill. I’ve given it to her. And along with the skill, she has the hatred and a sense of doing the wrong thing for the right reason. That will push her over the edge.”

  “Then let her do it. Get out of there.”

  “I can’t do that. I have to help her.”

  MacDuff was silent for a moment. “Why? What do you feel for her, Jock?”

  Jock chuckled. “Don’t worry. Not sex. And, God knows, not love. Well, maybe love. Friendship is love too. I like her and the boy. I feel a bond because of what she’s suffered. What she’s still suffering.”

  “That’s enough for me to worry about if it’s making you take up old habits. I want you to come back to MacDuff’s Run.”

  “No. Release me from my promise.”

  “The hell I will. I’ve left you on your own to find your way for a long time. It was damn hard for me. The only thing I asked was that you keep in contact and that there would be no more killings.”

  “And there haven’t been.”

  “Until now.”

  “It hasn’t happened…yet.”

  “Jock, don’t you—” MacDuff stopped and drew a deep breath. “Let me think.” There were a few minutes of silence and Jock could almost hear the Laird’s mind clicking, turning over the possibilities. “What would make you come back to the Run?”

  “I don’t want her to kill Sanborne.”

  “Can we get the FBI or a government agency on it?”

  “She said she’d tried. She thinks there’s a payoff.”

  “It’s possible. Sanborne’s got almost as much money as Bill Gates and that potential could be pretty dazzling to most politicians. What about the media?”

  “Sophie was in a mental hospital for three months with a nervous breakdown after the killings. That was one of the reasons she couldn’t get anyone to listen to her.”

  “Shit.”

  “Release me from my promise,” he repeated patiently.

  “Forget it,” MacDuff said curtly. “You don’t want her to kill Sanborne? Then we’ll throw someone else into the mix who will do the job for her.”

  “If she won’t let me, she won’t let anyone else either. She said she feels responsible.”

  “Who’s going to tell her? We’ll just get rid of the bastard.”

  Jock chuckled. “So much for preventing homicide. You’re beginning to sound like me, MacDuff.”

  “I don’t mind stepping on a cockroach. I just don’t want you doing it. What about pulling Royd into the picture?”

  Jock went still. “Royd?”

  “You told me that he was on the hunt. Is there any doubt that Royd will take over and follow through if he gets the chance?”

  “No doubt at all. He’s a powerhouse. I’d only have to worry about him stampeding over Sophie.”

  “And that would be a good thing if it kept her safe.”

  “Sophie wouldn’t think so,” Jock said dryly. “And she’d only get up and track him down like she did me.”

  “Call Royd, and then come home.”

  “No.”

  Silence. “Please.”

  “I don’t want—” He sighed. A promise was a promise and he owed MacDuff more than he could pay in a millennium. “I’ll think about it. It may take me a little while to locate him. For all I know Royd may be dead. The last I heard he was somewhere in Colombia. I’ll try to reach him.”

  “If you need help, let me know. Get him there and get on that plane. I’ll meet you in Aberdeen.” He hung up.

  Jock slowly pressed the disconnect. MacDuff’s response was not unexpected but he was still disappointed. He wanted to end Sophie’s torment in the quickest and most efficient manner and there was no one more efficient than he was at the task she’d set herself.

  Except perhaps Royd.

  As he’d told MacDuff, Royd was a powerhouse in every sense of the word. He’d had MacDuff investigate Royd’s background when the man had contacted him a year ago. He seemed to be filled with passion and bitterness, but Jock had lived with lies and deception too long and was not going to chance being used again. Royd was smart, ruthless, and managed to pull off operations that were difficult, if not impossible.

  And he had cause for the passion and bitterness he’d shown Jock. There was little doubt that he would focus single-mindedly on Sanborne and REM-4 once he knew where the facility was located.

  But, dammit, Jock didn’t like the idea of not being around to monitor Royd’s actions. He liked Sophie Dunston and Michael, and gentle emotion of any kind was rare and precious in his life. He’d had to learn how to respond again and that knowledge was something to be treasured and protected.

  He smiled without mirth at that last thought. It was bizarre to be dwelling on gentleness when he was fighting to commit the most horrendous of sins in the name of kindness.

  And it might still come to that if Royd had lost interest in the hunt.

  Not bloody likely.

  2

  Could it be her?” Robert Sanborne asked as he looked up from the report on his desk.

  “Sophie Dunston?” Gerald Kennett shrugged. “I suppose it could be her. You read the security guard’s report. He only got a glimpse of the intruder. Sex unknown. Medium height, slim, brown jacket, tweed cap, and carrying a rifle. I guess there might be footprints. Should I pull some strings and get the police to send a forensics crew to check it out?”